Friday, 05 June 2009
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quiet
there are days when you feel really irritated and upset within yourself about certain things, things that you might not even be able to pinpoint or put your finger on. and when you get around other people, it just seems to make it worse.. and even though i don't like that feeling, it just fans the flames. needless to say, i feel like that today.
i'm writing this so i don't make the mistake of taking out my irritation on the wrong people, if it's others at all..
i just feel like brooding and quite frankly, would appreciate some time to be alone for once. being an introvert, i desperately need some time away every now and then. church life, though my favorite thing, denies this at every turn. and i abhor the lack of privacy that i have nowadays. i simply want some quiet time. and if i've ever given you the cold shoulder, it's just a symptom of needing some alone time and space. i tend to exert a lot of my energy nonverbally and so this is where you'll pick up on my mood. i can feel the vein in the back of my head begin to throb. and i have a keen sense that my horrible allergies are upping my level of aggravation. sometimes, it's actually nice to be left alone. no phone calls, no knocks on the door, no talking.
what's worse is having people catch on to your mood, only to purposely talk to you. i would rather chew on nails at that moment. and then there are those who innocently strike up a conversation with you, and actually, i enjoy these kinds of interactions while i'm in one of these moods.
who knows, but my mood has done a complete 180 since anything good yesterday.. and even earlier this afternoon.
if you happen to cross my way during this time, i apologize beforehand.
peace.
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