So, I had a rough week.  Maybe you have, too.  I slept at 10:37pm last night, which is rare in my world.  But I was down with a migraine, which is only aggravated by my bad back.  But I woke up and got my work done, and had a nice day.  Weekly ESL classes come by so quickly, I barely have time to sit and make a lesson plan.  It's been a great experience teaching and especially to meet these people who I otherwise would have never crossed paths with. 

It's been a good focus setter as I'm wrapping up my studies in seminary.  It's been reason for me to keep myself in school, so that once I'm on the field, I can be of help and support for those already there.  I think about Thailand more and more these days.  The last couple of years haven't allowed for much time on this, especially since the needs of the church were so immediate.  But sure enough, tides change and so do our eventual directions.  Three years ago, when I first started serving at Eden, I knew it was a three plus year commitment.  And now that I'm almost into my fourth year, I know that the time I have left at Eden is probably less than what I've already invested.  When I talk about Thailand with others and divulge my plans nowadays, they often think I'm leaving sooner than later.  But this isn't the case.  I still have loans to pay back and things to decide and choices to settle on.  Some say that it takes an average of 10 years for missionaries to get on that plane.. from vision to nation.  I can see why such a saying exists. 

In the meantime, part of me has jumped into the deep end of current politics, particularly with health care.  There is no doubt in my mind that this bill can be defeated, especially now that more and more people are beginning to see how distorted the proposed plan is and what it seeks to do.  It will be a sad and tragic day when people stop speaking out against a government or anything or any person that seeks to legalize and somehow sanctify that which is not even good.  It's downright secrecy and trickery.  It is God's grace that a shift is occuring towards the Republicans and conservative Democrats.. and if you agree with the movement that is opposed to government run health care, which will mandate federal funds to be funneled into the system towards elective abortion and Planned Parenthood to be placed inside every public high school in the US, as well as include provision for the end of life controversy, sign the petition at www.aclj.org.  ACLJ organizes all the petitions that they receive and presents them to the individual states, so this has a direct influence on your state legislators, not some random conglomerate. 

Bottom line, those responsible for the creation of this bill have lied straight to our faces, about what it will fund, how much it will cost, etc.  The projected 10 year cost, which has gone up and down over the weeks, is for a bill, that if passed, will be enacted in 4 years from now.  This means the "10 year" cost in actuality will be a 6 year cost.  And for politicians to be able to read the nearly 2,000 page bill that has come out and vote within two weeks is absurd.  Nancy Pelosi has called for an early vote because she knows this fact, and not allowing for debates or any amendments to be voted on is simply ridiculous.  Language is a weapon of deception for politicians, so be careful what you read and hear.

I hate to sound like a fanatic, but this is worth the battle.  Things like this, which are so clearly going to hurt the people whom the government is supposed to protect, need to be stood up against.  Some will certainly disagree, but the issues such as abortion and end of life are things that will quickly erode the moral identity of the US.  Lord, have mercy.

Maranatha.

There are numerous times during my week when I wish and wish that my studying days were over.  And yet, I'm still here!  Of course..

My linguistics class has got me going around in circles most days.  I remember taking a linguistics course in college and absolutely hating it.  I hated the room, the teacher wasn't particularly good at comforting confused students, and the assignments were horrendous.  All I came out of the class with was the textbook.  Frightening.

But look at me now.. as soon as my MDiv days are behind me in December, my schedule will be filled to the brim with linguistics!  Phonetic transcription was challenging enough, but now these phonemes and drawing tree diagrams of phonemes.. goodness.  I'd rather write essays in phonetics all day than draw tree diagrams of phonemes.  As a matter of fact, I'd rather read Greek than any of this.

Good luck to myself on my midterm!

Well, have to go prepare for ESL class.  Enjoy your evening.

Peace.

It's ironic.. up until just about five minutes ago, when I put my fingers to the keyboard, my week was going fairly well.

Anyhow, putting all that aside, I've had a busy week like most of you.  Nothing like losing sleep and doing work all throughout the day.  Amazingly, went on three hours of sleep last night but woke up refreshed.  Just as I had asked of the Lord!  I woke up in the middle of the night and looked at my phone to see what time it was.  Felt as if I had slept for at least a couple of hours, but realized that I had only been asleep for forty minutes.  So I thanked the Lord and went back to sleep.

Did a few Jonah monologues this week.  Started out as an assignment for one of my classes and ended up vamping it up for my kids at church.  Quite fun.. whale and costume.

My headache is back.  I realize that I do not like applying for seminary scholarships that are in reality partial to its applicants.. a bit disgusting.  This kind of money is of no good in God's eyes.

Watched a couple of movies/docu's tonight.  Expelled:  No Intelligence Allowed, by Ben Stein was entertaining as well as heart breaking.  And I would recommend that people watch it for the sake of personal conviction about their beliefs and what they believe to be their true worldview.  It gets at a few key points that I appreciated listening to and seeing people address on a larger platform.

Well, time's up.

Peace.

This day always creeps up on me.  I never plan on thinking twice about it, but I always do.  My dad would have been 64 today.  And on a busy Saturday like today, I would be rushing home to get the birthday dinner ready and maybe wrapping up a last minute gift that I picked up.  But for the last ten years or so, we've spent this day rather quietly, and increasingly thinking about how faithful God has been in the absence of my dad.  I question sometimes, why is God so faithful?  And then I remember that it is because I am His child, and it makes perfect sense. 

Another song that has been on my heart:

Hiding Place

I have found myself a hiding place
I have found myself a secret space
In the shelter of Almighty's love
In the safety of the Savior's arms

I will run to the hiding place
I will run to the hiding place
Draw me ever closer to look upon Your face
I will run to the hiding place

I have found myself a hiding place
I have found myself a secret space
In the refuge of the Father's care
In the cleansing blood of Jesus there

I will run to the hiding place
I will run to the hiding place
Draw me ever closer to look upon Your face
I will run to the hiding place

Though my fears may overwhelm me
And troubles they surround
Though the winds rise up to take me
My hiding place is already found

I have found myself a hiding place
I have found myself a secret space
In the shelter of Almighty's love
In the safety of the Savior's arms

 

Peace.

At least once a year, and it can be at any time within any given year, I sense imbalance in my life.  Lack of physical rest usually means that imbalance in my spiritual life is bleeding out into the externals.  Thankfully, I know how God shows me these imbalances and so I spend my waking hours doing all I can and using all that I have learned about my faith life to strike some sort of normalcy so I can get back in.  I pray more, I shut my mouth and listen more, I think slower, and I attempt to see and look at things more carefully.   I also see how God brings me into contact with those I don't speak with on a regular basis.  For some reason this week, it's been with five parents of the students in the youth and children's ministry asking for prayer.  A good thing.

It feels like the past week has given me an unfair beating.  So I'm finding it difficult to stand above the water and just pray so that God can take me through the day.  I'm not at the point where I'll attempt to do it myself.  I haven't been able to sleep peacefully for at least eight days and that's frustrating, but as I sat outside last night on the phone with my friend, I felt the chill of the wind for the first time and was so grateful to have a home to walk back into.  I stayed out for a little while longer, sitting on the curb, and tried to see how warm a person can keep themself before their own body temperature drops down too low, and then went inside. 

Doing ministry at this point is a challenge.  It's hard to serve both EM and CM while going to school and trying to stay out of greater debt.  Of all these things, the last is the most difficult to avoid.. especially if you're participating in the first three..! 

I think the danger of trying to take care of ourselves is that we oftentimes cross the line from care into comfort.  It takes quite a bit of effort to push ourselves out so that we can see those around us and care for others, too.  Some people at church ask me, "Do you get a vacation?"  Others ask it this way: "Don't you get a vacation?"  A nice vacation to Thailand or Greece would be welcome, but it's not what I need most.  I much prefer to strike a balance in my heart and mind while staying put.  Many times I think that I need to get out more and serve where I haven't yet served, to those I haven't yet shared a meal and conversation.  I think God hides lessons in these sorts of things.  I've locked into a certain mode of serving at my church, but there are so many ways to minister.  Ironically, this is outside of the church walls.  Something to chew on and pore over. 

God be my center.  God be my energy.

Peace.

A person's values are important.  I always remember this when I face a values conflict with another individual, as I did this evening.  I'll never forget learning just how important they are.. one's so-called "core values."  You could define it as the basic beliefs that drive what we do - our hidden perception of reality.  So everything we do comes as a result of what we believe, who we believe in.. if we believe in someone or something at all.  The important thing to realize is that our core values can be challenged by others, and they are often are, in the form of arguments and trying situations.  If you push a person enough, it will cause a response as varied as you can get, but if you challenge a person's value system to the extreme, it will cause a person to kill.  I had to think for a moment when I first heard this, but I tend to agree.  Certainly it requires that one's value system be quite flawed, yet it illustrates a point.  Values are much more essential to one's life than we realize.  And as Christians, it demands that we continually examine our own values to see that it aligns to what God calls us to value, not our culture nor anything else. 

Peace.

Well, I'm back.  We arrived in Portland at around 8.45pm on Saturday night and headed back to church for a really late dinner.  Everyone was exhausted and probably wanted to go home and sleep, but some ladies had prepared neng-myun for the team, so we ate gladly.  Got home around 11.30pm and cleared out my travel bag before heading to bed.  Usually, I'll leave my bags to clean later, but everything was so dirty and fairly little compared to my bags when I get home from Thailand that I thought I would be quick about it for once in my life. 

We had a really great trip - mostly doing construction on a church in a village called Silincio and hosting a four day VBS for the kids in the village.  I'm not one to post everything we did.  I may have had the time to do so at one time, but not any more.  But I was thankful for the chance to go.  I'm not sure if I will be returning next year, although my church will go yearly, I think.  I'll have to start focusing a bit more on Thailand as the years close in.  Honduras reminds me of Thailand a lot.  Outside of the United States and overly developed countries, the land starts to look the same.  Poverty in one part of the world begins to remind you of poverty in another place, and even the smell is the same.  Sleeping quarters are similar, toilets are similar, and effect that everything has on you is almost always similar.     

One of our team members lost her green card once she passed through immigration in Honduras and set off a five-day hunt for a way to get back into the US without being detained in Honduras or Houston, which we flew through.  We barely got her out of San Pedro Sula, but somehow we brought her back home.

And I get to see my niece now.

Peace.